“You look mahvelous.”
What’s the first thought that popped into your head?
• “OMG, no I don’t!”
• Or “Why, thank you, dahling!” (💛Billy Crystal)
If you’re like me, you probably lean toward the first one. 🙋♀️
I’ve been there. I was that person—always deflecting compliments.
“Oh, this old thing?”
“It was nothing.”
“Anyone could have done it.”
Sound familiar?
Recently, I saw myself in someone else.
I had the honour of presenting an award to a fabulous fundraiser. She smiled, then immediately said things like:
“But… I’m not…”
Cue the self-deprecation.
So I smiled and said (with a wink):
“Just say thank you. Don’t downplay your awesomeness. You deserve this.”
Why Accepting Compliments Feels Awkward
Accepting compliments can feel awkward for a lot of us. (Me too!)
But here’s a perspective that changed everything for me:
If I compliment you, it’s because I care about you. And when you accept it graciously, you’re validating me as the compliment-giver. You’re giving me joy back in return. Everybody wins.
That lesson changed my life years ago. And it applies everywhere — even in fundraising.
The Fundraising Connection
For example, when we thank donors, we do more than acknowledge a gift.
We shine a light on their kindness, affirm their good judgment, and celebrate their identity as someone who cares enough to act. That affirmation feels amazing for them and it deepens the connection with us.
Here’s the nerdy part:
When we accept that people genuinely benefit from doing nice things—whether it’s offering a compliment or making a gift—it changes everything.
It means:
- We’re not “taking” something from donors.
- We’re creating opportunities for them to experience joy, pride, and purpose.
And when we do everything we can to maximize those good feelings—by thanking them (connectedness, autonomy), reporting back (competence), and affirming their identity—we know we’re delivering a highly valued benefit.
That’s why fundraising isn’t “icky.” It’s a partnership in well-being.
They give. We steward. Everybody wins.
Same with compliments: when you know accepting one uplifts both you and the giver, it feels less awkward. You’re not being vain—you’re participating in a mutual exchange of good vibes.
Practical Tips for Fundraisers (and Humans)
- Say thank you without deflection. No “Oh, it was nothing.” Just: “Thank you. That means a lot.”
- Mirror values in your language. For donors, highlight kindness, generosity, and impact.
- Frame gratitude as identity-affirming. Try: “Your gift shows your compassion and commitment to change.”
Closing Thought
So next time someone says you look mahvelous?
Smile. Say thank you.
You’ll feel good—and you’ll make them feel even better.
👉 Tell me I’m not the only one who’s struggled with this! Got a tip for accepting compliments without cringing? Drop it below—I’d love to hear your secrets.